Rants 

     Everybody is entitled to an opinion, so here is a group of mine based on current events and life in general.  

10/14/2003  - The term "sleeping together" is such a terrible phrase. When two people are "sleeping together", they are not even remotely in the ballpark (there are exceptions, but this is generally true) of sleeping. They are both quite awake, I assure you. If we where to take the term literally, catching a few Z's with a coworker would be grounds for divorce. "Your Honor, I caught my wife sleeping with another man". And Heaven forbid if you get caught napping in various locations. Few of your friends and family will respect you if they found out that you have "slept" around alot. We need to find another clean term for the act of sex. Sleeping just doesn't cut it anymore.

7/23/2003 - Over ten years ago, the American public was given a taste of a fresh new television concept - The Reality show.  We had the first couple of runs of MTV's "The Real World" and then Survivor showed up.   After that, the airwaves where flooded with such shows as Big Brother, The Bachelor, Who Want's to Marry a Millionaire, The Bachelorette, American Idol, Who Wants' to Marry My Father, etc... etc...  Just for the record, I would like to state that I don't hate these shows.  I need a stronger word than "hate" to describe what I feel for these abortions of corporate programming.   First of all, none of the afore mentioned shows are based remotely in the ballpark of reality.  10 perfect strangers do not find themselves rooming together and competing in useless competitions to see who gets booted out this week.  No 1 guy ever gets to date 12 women who are under the impression that he is a millionaire when he is , in fact, a construction worker.  No group of siblings gets to scrutinize their Father's every date with 8 attractive women (Note that almost everybody on these shows is near model grade material) to determine who their new Step Mom will be.  That kind of shit simply doesn't occur in real life.  And the sad thing is that the American public continues to feed these shows by tuning in and letting their minds slip into cruise control.  Hey, since anybody can conceptualize a reality show nowadays, why can't I think one up?  Let's see.  We take the programming directors of each of the major TV networks (Fox, NBC, CBS, ABC) and dress them up in rat suits.  We put them in a life sized maze the size of a shopping mall.  In this maze, we have a network of tripwires, stake lined pitfalls, bear traps, fire traps, and they get to be chased by rabid German Shepherds.  Maybe we'll release Mike Tyson into the maze once a week just for fun.  There will be no weekly vote offs - whoever survives wins and gets to keep his job.  We'll call this masterpiece "Rat Race".  Damn, I should have worked in television.

10/18/2002 - My oh my has it been a while.  I have a lot of rage to vent, and so little time or space in which to do so.  The target of this month's rant will the cost of getting married in this corner of the world.  Weddings are big business here in the Northeast, and the opportunistic fiends who help make it run are here to suck your hard earned funds right out of your bank account.  I did some crack math and determined that if you took our wedding ceremony, the limo ride to the reception hall, and the reception itself, you would get 8 hours.  This is including the 1 1/2 hour of down time between the two events.  I have calculated that we are spending almost $2000.00 per hour for our wedding day, and we cut corners like crazy.  It is mind blasting to me that a simple wedding and reception should cost us so much.  Not to mention that the entire processing is a year in the making and causes incredible amounts of gut wrenching pain and suffering for the couple to be as well as just about every one around them.  Getting married has gone from an event everyone looks forward too to an event that everyone can't wait to get over with.  Is this the way it's supposed to be?  I can't answer that yet, let me get back to you on that one in a month or so.  My friends ask me things like "are you nervous?" and "are you sure about this?".  My answer is "I'm not nervous about getting married because we love each other and want to stay together for the rest of our lives.  I'm just nervous about getting the money together so we don't wind up in a cardboard box".

4/29/2002  - So I guess by now many of you have heard of the untimely death of Layne Staley, singer of Alice in Chains.  For the uninitiated, he died last weekend of an apparent heroin overdose.  He was found after being dead for 3 days.  Now, I bear him no disrespect.  He was a great singer in a great band and reportedly a gentle soul.  However, I must state that anyone, and I mean ANYONE who kills themselves by way of heroin, cocaine, crack, or any other drug is an imbecile of the highest order.  Yes, the man was an addict and my heart truly bleeds for him, but the nature of his demise proved him to be the ultimate jackass.  Back in the 60's and the 70's, people where not quite sure as to the destructive effects of hard drugs.  Not so today.  People know that shit will either kill them or severely mess up their lives.  Not to mention the lives of the people close to them.  All the information is there and recent history has shown that the mightiest of the mighty will succumb to a horrible fate as a result of drug use.  Let Mr. Staley's death send a message - never, EVER put yourself in a position where you could wind up an addict.  In other words, don't even take that first hit.  Don't try it.  Ever.  You will never know whether or not you'll be hooked until it's too late.  Just ask Layne Staley.  Or Shannon Hoon of Blind Melon.  Or Brad Nowell of Sublime.  They found out. 

2/11/2002 - I receive way too much junk email.  Much of it is repeats.  You know what I mean, the stuff that you have to delete every day because these yo-yos keep sending the same thing over and over.  My favorite such piece of junk is the one that sells an herbal supplement that is supposed to increase my ejaculation by up to 580%.  I thought about this and decided that I would have to pass on the opportunity.  I mean, really now!  The first time it happens, I'm sure it's quite spectacular.  The next 20 times after that and I'm sure your wife/fiancee/lover/girlfriend/whatever will say something to the effect of "hey, do you think you could lay off that stuff please?".  What people will try to sell to you nowadays.  The truly frightening part of this is that there are folks out there who actually will buy the stuff.  Who benefits from all this?  The folks at Kleenex.     

12/13/2001 - It's common to get upset at people, governments, systems, economies, etc...  etc...  But the one thing that's been eating me is the weather nowadays.  It's December and the weather here in Jersey is more like April.  50's and 60's with rain.  If I wanted it to be like this at this time of year, I'd move to Georgia.  I want my Winter and I mean to have it.

11/5/2001 - And so another holiday season approaches.  I figured I'd get this out before the season morphs into full frenzy.  Every year, we seem to further and further away from the true meaning of the holidays.  The celebration of the birth of Christ.  If you lack faith in that, at least make the reason for the season be the celebration of family and friends.  You will notice the merchandizing push that infects this country by the end of November.  Christmas is now a mere slave to the almighty dollar and a shadow of it's former self.  If you don't believe me, I challenge you to go to any store in any shopping mall and ask the manager there what it's all about.  I wager the answer will be financially bounded.  That's very sad.

10/4/2001 - The media has an incredible impact on our lives.  In fact, I feel it has too much of an impact.  Where to we draw the line between well informed and over saturated?  Humans are information junkees by nature, but the time must come for us to think our own thoughts and not keep repeating the same empty slogans we hear on TV or the radio.  Stop paying attention to the rest of the World every once in a while and try living for once.  Make your own damn news!!!

10/1/2001 - Well, in light of the events culminating in the September 11th disaster, I feel that we have all heard enough of the angry retorts a  bloodlust for revenge against those who have so horribly wronged us.  Perhaps we should take another angle.  Killing those responsible would be just dandy, but it won't help us in the long run.  What we need to do to these people if and when we find them can be summed up in the list below...

1. Question their motives.  We need to understand what drove them to commit such heinous deeds.

2. Determine what they hoped to achieve by these attacks, or the message they where trying to convey.

3. Discover how the entire operation was planned.  

4. Discover if there are any other terrorist groups affiliated with them who may make further attacks upon us.

5. Carry out the justice they have coming to them.

Now in a perfect world, we should be able to obtain this information.  Naturally, our world is not perfect, so we probably won't find out.  The point I'm driving at here is that UNDERSTANDING is more critical in this matter than JUSTICE.  Yes, these people should be punished harshly, but it is more important to know what makes these people tick so we can prevent further such occurrences.
     On a side note, I feel kinda bad about my last rant (see below) concerning the demise of insurance people, as many of those in the World Trade Center where working for insurance companies.  Dispite the tragedy, I still say they suck.

10/1/2001 - What a deal, one day, two rants!!!!!  This will be short and sweet.  Anybody that kills in the name of God is a worthless moron.  Throughout history, countless millions have died at the hands of religious fanatics.   Be they Christians, Muslims, Hindus, or whatever, the justification of murder because "God desires it" has got to rank right up there with the idealism behind the Nazis.  Stupid is too mild a word to use.  I've got a little pointer for you - If you feel the urge to kill another human being in the name of God, go immediately to the highest building you can find and throw yourself off of it.  God, along with the rest of us, will thank you for it.  

6/28/2001 - Just a short one today:  Insurance agencies suck.  All insurance agents should be herded into a field and napalmed off the face of the Earth.  I'd rather flush my money down the toilet then send it to an insurance company.  At least I get the satisfaction of watching it swirl around a couple of times before it disappears. 

6/5/2001 - Few things in this world confound me more than why women are so terrified of being overweight that they would risk  loosing their ability to reproduce for life in order to be at what they consider their "ideal weight".  Why would anybody want anything to do with a young woman who is so sickly that she can't even function properly?  They can't have that slice of pizza or burger, but it's OK to smoke a pack a day to curb their appetite.  To me,  it's like removing the brakes from your car so you can go faster.  It's asinine.  Do you find Greyhounds attractive?  I bet you don't.  That's what these women want to look like.   I'd rather have something a bit more substantial. 

4/23/2001 - Ever wonder why it is that Professional athletes get paid millions of dollars per year to play a GAME?  I do.  It is part of the reason that it costs so much to see a professional sporting event these days.  They will tell you "the athlete runs the risk of injury and by the time he's in his mid to late 30's, his career is over".  Hmmmm..... lets see.  He makes 2 Million a year but he might just snap tear his  ACL and go onto injured reserve, which will drop his pay into 6 figures for a few months or so and he's got to rehabilitate himself.  Poor baby.  I run marathons and get the crap kicked out of me by 5th degree Black Belts weekly for FREE.  It's for the love of the activity, and I RUN EQUAL RISK OF INJURY TO ALMOST ANY PROFESSIONAL ATHLETE.  So the next time somebody tells you that a baseball player is worth his 7 figure salary to stand around in a field all day, run and catch a few balls, then swing a bat 4 times per game, tell him to stick it where the sun don't shine.  Nowadays, many professional athletes are such baby's that to call them "professional" is a travesty.

4/17/2001 - I'm glad that this whole hostage situation with the Chinese is over.  However, it goes to point out what is to me a glaring problem concerning our country and foreign relations.  You see, the good ole US of A seems to be everybody else's whipping post when it comes to hostage situations.  Yes, I know that the current situation was eventually expedited well, but what if happened in a middle eastern country that was more hostile?  All these other countries seem to get a kick out of holding American hostages while we politely ask for them to be returned and then make hollow military threats.  This behavior simply asks for more trouble.  What we SHOULD do when a hostage crisis arises is quietly sneak our ambassadors out their country and when that is done, we go to THEIR ambassadors and take THEM hostage.  The difference is that the U.S. hostages are usually trained military men while the foreign hostages are usually over privileged, middle aged softies.  We then tell the opposing nation that "what happens to our guys, happens to yours".  I believe that once this occurs, further hostage crisis involving U.S. citizens will probably drop dramatically.  Of course we would never do this because it would be considered "un American" but that's the way I feel about it.

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